I have been home now all of three weeks, and felt the responsibility to NOT share feelings in written form until such a time that I have truly been able to wrap my mind around them.....I am jumping the gun.
I don't think that I will ever be able to place, isolate, dictate, recognize, or share the waves of cognitive emotions that wash over me in regards to my time spent on the Ivory Continent. However; of one thing I am certain-Africa will never leave me.
No I have not taken the illustrious, and predictable "Toby" way of actually having Africa tattooed on my body...not yet. If for no other reason, I feel as if it is the first real tattoo I have ever gotten directly on my heart between God and myself.
When I returned home, of course everything seemed the same. Familiar. However; there was this unseen shroud that moved everything 1/8 of an inch to the right...just not quite the same as it all was when I left. I waited for the old familiarity to take hold, but alas, to no avail.
This is when I realized that I have been changed. Things are never going to be quite the same again. Not unlike looking down at my forearm now and seeing my fathers childhood image staring back. My forearm will never be just a forearm again, and my heart will always see Tabitha happy in her flip flops and owning nothing else, or the lady that walked 12 blocks out of her way in downtown Nairobi to make sure I got to where I needed to go, or the young boy in the clinic suffering from Malaria.
Am I sad or scared? Absolutely not! The promise of reshaping my spirit is more than exciting.
As mentioned I will be travelling to many far away places, and not to sit pool side at a Marriott. I will be going to inject myself into cultures and everyday lives. I will be conversing with their sick. I will be asking the locals how we can make things better. And I will most certainly be having my heart moved 1/8 of an inch to the right every time I do.In addition I will be bringing it all to you, as I take it on myself.
I leave for Hyderabad, India the day after tomorrow and I'm bringing my heart with me....won't you come along?
Toby, I am so enjoying learning about your journeys - both physical & spiritual. What you're doing is amazing, thank you for sharing this with us. Safe travels, my friend!
ReplyDeleteI so love your words... I actually see your posts on fb and my blog roll and force myself to not jump directly to your blog because, selfishly, I want to read more than one post at a time.
ReplyDeleteYou're not only shifting your heart and your perspective through your experiences, your well-written words invite your readers to open their minds and hearts and do the same... through you. It's such a gift, Toby. You are amazing... what you're doing is amazing. All that you have done, all that you've experienced in your life up to the point that you and Kristen got married... (of which I know only a fraction, of course!) has led you to this next journey (what I am assuming will be a lifelong quest now) and I am honored to be able to follow along.