Today I Met My Traveler Self

I am not sure if it is because in India, today is Makar Sankrati-the holiday to represent the transition of the sun into Makara Rashi (Capricorn) marking a day of harvest.
I am not sure if it is Sunday, my heritages linear day of peace and rest.
I am not sure if it is because I started my day logging on to my computer to find out the the 49ers beat the Saints.

What I am sure of is that today I set out on foot into the streets of Hyderabad with no direction, no destination, and no schedule, not unlike what I have done quite a few times now in the not so distance past in Africa and here. But today, for reasons unknown, as soon as I left the hotel property, I was enveloped in a bubble of confidence and peace. A tranquil comfort that scripted a permanent grin on my foreign face. A lesson understood seemingly for the first time.

Here is what happened: I did not walk blindly. I walked with a purpose, but very careful to physically stop whenever something caught my attention for any reason and really mentally explore how I felt about that from an Indian me and American me. For instance: I left the hotel hungry. I wanted food in a locals only, cheap, "don't gauge the American" place with good food. I wanted to show that I belonged there. I walked right up to the first open aired cafe I found and ordered the Chicken Tikka (because I had eaten that before and could tell if it would be different). I paid the exact amount like it was my own currency and instructed him that I was going to climb the narrow ladder to the loft to take my meal at the table up there, please send up my food, and thank you very much. All with my plastered genuine smile.

The shop proprietor seemed to congratulate me with his eyes on a transaction well done and nodded his approval.
Then I climbed, sat, and picked apart the experience to understand it viscerally.

It was the same all day. I walked past the poor begging woman like I didn't see her instead of stopping to try and explain that while my heart wanted to give her money, I realize its not the answer. No need for wordy explanations. Smile and pass...tough love.

I relied on my ignorance when it suited me without even thinking about it. I asked for answers to questions that were obvious to locals but obviously not me. Then I turned right around and acted like a local when it suited me to survive, like crossing traffic. No hesitation, no surrender, all senses heightened.

I admired local street art, and the people doing it, but politely asked permission to take their picture...

.....all with my permanent smile.

As I returned back to the hotel, I realized....that was interesting and very natural.

I now realize that being a traveler calls for attributes. Attributes that may even attach themselves to the 7th Chakra that is so prevalent here in India. The Crown Chakra. The 3rd eye. The seeing of the unsee able. The understanding of the untaught. The calculated certainty of an anticipated event. A natural comfort in a potentially uncomfortable environment.

Today, after months of training, I became a traveler.